You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
