nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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