her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
