Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize