I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
