I wish I only lived at night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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