In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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