nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
