I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
