I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
