I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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