Can Purell be used as lube?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
