That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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