The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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