at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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