I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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