so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He passed out mid-signature
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
