he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
