you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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