isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
