READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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