awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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