You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
