Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
