last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
