Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
