This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
zippers are such a cool invention
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
