you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
