well you can't waste a boner
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
