Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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