i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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