Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
