Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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