just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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