Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize