I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
