what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize