if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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