OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
