I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
