please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
