Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
