I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
