Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Randomize
