Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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