We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
