so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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