I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
