we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
