But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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