ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
They are going to name an STD after you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
