She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
