My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
