We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize