yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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