haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
