If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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